Have you ever noticed that “lol” looks
like a drowning man? I don’t think he was laughing out loud..
Thinks that Santa Claus has the right
idea to only visit people once a year.
No ideas to update your status? Or want
to make your friend laugh? Just use Funny Facebook Status Quotes!!
Is reminding you that you cant force
fate, you just have to let it wash over you like a spray tan that wont take
because your skin is too oily.
A fear of heights is illogical. A fear of
falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary.
Sandy really wishes she could
but, My panty hose sprung a leak.
Facebook is like jail; you sit around and
waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don’t know.
What seems like the right thing to do
could also be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life
Being miserable is a habit. Being happy
is a habit. The choice is yours.
To the world, you may be one person, but
to a person you may be the world.
I love you, not for what you are, but for
what I am when I am with you.
Life is the flower for which love is the
honey.
Love can sometimes be magic. But magic
can sometimes… just be an illusion.
Eye of newt…boiling trouble…that sounds
about right.
Facebook, creating and killing
relationships since 2004.
Do you want to make money from Facebook?
It’s easy. Just go to your Account Setting, Deactivate your account, and Go To
Work.
The only way the world is going to end in
2012 is if Facebook is taken off the Internet!
My life isn’t perfect but it does have perfect
moments.
A grand adventure is about to being.
Ian just found out that they took the
word “gullible” out of the dictionary!
Jack will update his Facebook status for
money!
Peter reminds you to not play stupid with
me! I’m better at it.
Happiness is having something to do,
something to love, and something to hope for.
I could do this thing good and I could go
home with a happy feeling that I’ve changed the world –
Everyone is a genius at least once a
year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together.
Sometimes the only way to protect the
people you love is staying away from them.
I’m not addicted to Facebook i just have
an addiction to Facebook.
wonders how many people can go a whole
week without going on Facebook?
I miss when Facebook was first started…
Times were much simpler back then.
Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Never
mind, it’s too long.
My job is definitely secure. No one else
wants it.
Would a fly without wings be called a
walk?
Peter reminds you to not play stupid with
me! I’m better at it.
Lauren lives vicariously… through
herself.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is
nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re all
right now.
Have you ever noticed that “lol” looks
like a drowning man? I don’t think he was laughing out loud..
My oven has a button that says ‘Stop
Time’. I know it’s probably supposed to say ‘Stop Timer’, but I don’t touch it,
just in case.
You are never too old to set another goal
or to dream a new dream.
Courage is not the absence of fear, but
rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.
Facebook is like jail, you sit around and
waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you dont know.
Success is the proper utilization of
failure
You can have everything in life you want,
if you will just help enough other people get what they want
Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have
your attention. I’ve just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I
need all of you, to stop what you’re doing and listen. Cannonball!
“I am going to (insert place) to meet my
future boyfriend while he is gambling next to me..”
I made up a quote ages ago and I still
love it 
You can do anything, but not everything.
Just because this isn’t a fairytale
doesn’t mean people can’t live happily ever after.
I’ve always wanted to get into a cab and
yell, ‘Follow that car
Wants to know why people add you on
Facebook and then they never talk to you. What’s the point?
